In the same way that book-learned language speakers miss so much of what matters, I had a feeling that being an album-learned comedy fan was leaving me in a similar state of wanting. Because I was under 21, I was unable to get into comedy clubs by myself. One particular weekend my mom drove me from Sterling, VA to New Brunswick, NJ to see Pete Holmes do an hour at the Stress Factory Comedy Club. Yes, I know, she’s an angel. And the show was everything I could have dreamt of. I’d never laughed so hard in my life. I don’t think I’ll ever laugh that hard again. It was magical. For the first time, I was in a room of people who loved what I loved. We were all in our Pete Holmes shirts, smiling and laughing in sync with each other. I remember it feeling the way I’d always wanted church to feel. Thinking back on how amazing that was, I totally understand why people join cults. Anyways.
All things considered, I don’t think any show I ever go to — and I go to lots of shows — will ever compete. And Pete Holmes isn’t even one of my favorites anymore. Frankly, I don’t think I’ll ever love anything as much as I loved things in high school. Sometimes that makes me sad, I do miss that excitement, but I think my commitment as a fan was a symptom of a lack of human connection. I’m not saying that’s the case with everyone, but it was the case for me.
I’ll say it - I was very much smitten with Pete Holmes. I wouldn’t have followed comedy as far as I did if I hadn’t found him. When I first came across him, he was a recently-divorced man in his late-twenties, processing his emotions and re-thinking the Christianity that he was raised in. I found him and his incredible podcast, You Made it Weird, just as I was questioning my own faith. Pete was the first person that I ever found to be asking the questions I was asking. He made me feel that I wasn’t alone, and that nothing was wrong with me. Pete spoke openly and vulnerably about his experiences in a way that no one in my town ever seemed to. I was addicted.
At a show in the last years of his career, George Carlin said, “Don’t just teach your children to read, teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.” Between Patton Oswalt, Pete Holmes, Duncan Trussell and countless others, I felt like I stumbled upon these modern-day philosophers, sending me into a tailspin of re-thinking and re-evaluating everything I’d ever been told. It felt like I had finally found a community of people who seemed to be really thinking about what was going on around them, not just sailing through the path of least resistance. Don’t get me wrong, there is magic in a well-written joke. I love good comedy. The day I stop laughing at Mark Normand one-liners is the day I quit working in this field. I love language and the math of a good joke. Comedy is an immensely powerful force and I realized quickly that it is capable of changing the world. But the thing that keeps me in this field is not the comedy but the comedians themselves.